It's Wednesday October 22nd, I'm Craig Evans and here is today's Blog.co.uk News.
Today marks the birth of Blog.co.uk News! An online news magazine with a difference. The difference being that this is real news with a dark twist. From today onwards, Blog.co.uk News will be looking for anyone to write and submit thier own Blog.co.uk News article, made up entirely by you! any eager writers are asked to contact Pepperami for details.
Today's headlines:
Credit Crunchy Nuts!
Latest Youth Knife Crime out of Control!
Madness Ensues as Ticket Touts are Punished!
In light of the recent Credit Crunch, supermarkets are eagerly busting those inflating prices with cheaper products on their shelves. Well breakfast time is certainly about to leave us with a few extra coins in our pockets as Kelloggs announces it's brand new cereal, Kelloggs Credit Crunchy Nuts. The original delicious taste of Crunchy Nuts arrived into our bowls several years ago when the public screamed out for something with a little more taste than Corn Flakes. Since then, the honey and nut drizzled breakfast cereal has been topping the cereal charts as one of the greatest bowls of delisciousness. Now, with the Credit Crunch destroying the economy, Kelloggs have put the public first, and come up with a new cereal to delight our taste buds. Credit Crunchy Nuts hit the shelves early next month, and are reportedly going to be more successful than All Bran. We spoke to a representative of Kelloggs about the new product, Chu McRunchyballs.
"The new cereal will come with no packaging, which saves the consumer more than 65p. The cereal will just be poured into a carrier bag to take away. We have also taken away the honey and flakes, leaving the consumer with the tasty nuts to delve into. We're still trying to calculate an ideal price, but I can estimate around 6p per bowl."
Gordon Brown says he is delighted that companies are adapting to the recent ecomony crunch. Kelloggs also say they are looking into changing even more cereal products, including Recession Krispies and Economy Flakes.
A baby was stabbed yesterday when another child aged 2, whom we cannot name for legal reasons, provoked the 1 year old using violent language and threatening gestures, before engaging in battle on the streets of Birmingham. The 1 year old tot allegedly attempted to defend itself by summoning Pikachu, but the cute Pokemon itself was also stabbed by the vicious attacker. Police say knife crime is spiralling out of control and needs to stop immediately. Pikachu is currently recovering in a Poke-center under the supervision of Nurse Joy.
Ticket Touts now face harsher punishment as eBay releases figures that over 3% of it's multi-billion pound profit comes from the illegal over-priced reselling of tickets for gigs, festivals and Yu-Gi-Oh gatherings. Anyone caught selling tickets for more than 50% their original price now face 250 community hours of stamp licking for Ticketmaster.com.
In other news, Nintendo star Mario Mario has been arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to commit mass murder when he was attempting to fly to Yoshi Island with a sack of Bo-bombs. A statement by Mario's defense counsel today stated that Mario was "flying out to visit Princess Peach and Yoshi, when a Koopa dumped the Bo-bombs with Mario's luggage". Police are currently questioning the italian "plumber" as to what exactly happened.
Craig Evans, North Wales, for Blog.co.uk News.